babymickflamingo

A scar for the weakest moment, A sweater - the perfect disguise, A bruise for the last conversation, Unspoken words - rotting on the tongue. A tattoo for strength - or the irony, Wrinkles for the permanent ache, Tear tracks and a bloody lip - All a reminder - And a smile to hide them.

It was in the hand I used to hold And I've lost it when I decided to let it go. It was in the letter without a return address, The words left unspoken and poems unwritten. It was in the nicotine I gave up, And the bad moon rising. It was in the sleepless nights and chilly mornings, Shooting stars without a wish to wish for. It was in the kiss - now long forgotten, And a song we used to sing. It was in a foolish-never-accomplished dream, And the fireworks. It was in the opportunity I've missed, And a promise never kept. It was in the hand I used to hold And I've lost it when I decided to let go.

And she whispered "I can't change" While she drew excuses for his behavior, Finally settling on "he's just not the same."

And she whispered "I can't change" Tears in her eyes - they're finally parting ways, "When we're different people maybe we'll meet again."

And she whispered "I can't change" When she realized her skin doesn't feel the same, And she's colder now than she was back then.

And she whispered "I can't change" A few years before when she was sure That she has reached her final point of growth.

And she cried "I can't change" When she broke the cycle and turned her back on naivety - She is not who she used to be.

When the last remembering person that dies Gets to be born with new memories, a new face, When all of the achievements, all of the mistakes Get forgotten, abandoned or replaced, When colors change from white to grey to black To cover up the stains and wash away the red When the stars fade into nothingness And the wishes finally come true, I just hope that it has been enough; They've made their mark in this world, They did their best For this universe to preserve them how they were, Somewhere, in some timeless place, In some different galaxy, different space, Somewhere where this worlds' memories are kept, All the moments they've shared, Wars won and children fed, Every word they've spoken - They all stay forever frozen, Somehow to be kept safe forever, For someone, someday, suddenly to remember, That the love they've shared Was bigger than life itself.

-

'Cause theirs was the greatest love story Never written about; They were the last two people to share a smoke While the world burned to the ground.

How dare you write a song about my eyes, When they are the ones you've grown to despise? How dare you apologize for breaking a heart, Leaving it so no one ever could piece the parts? How dare you write the words people will praise, When the things you've done haven't left me the same? How dare you ask the people for forgiveness, When what you've done will forever be kept a secret? How dare you cash in your poems, your lies, When your name is pinned to my sorrows and cries?

You get to that angsty part, There's gotta be a way out… But it's getting dark, The finish line was never an option - They broke at the start. The main characters drift apart.

You get to that sad part, They're lonely till they're alone, Your tears stain the paper; There's a cliché in there somewhere too, The rain, the winter, lips turning blue. The inevitable comes And the lovers are split up.

Now close the book Without reading the rest, There's no resolution, No happy end. It ends in pain and agony Of two people, - Who were once each other’s everything - Now forever torn apart. Close the book Without reading the rest, - And that my love - That's life at its best.

I trace a finger over my lips, It feels as though there should be a sign, Right there on my bottom lip. That once upon a time Yours were pressed to mine.

All the friendly ghosts Trying to give a reason to hope, Can't make an empty shell Feel like it belongs.

Fire crossed a bridge - Found a home by the lake; The devil himself was being greedy So he asked an angel to stay. It's a risky little game Soul-mates often play, Twin flames burning, Careful not to evaporate - Surprise, Surprise, Surprise - Your salvation may also be your demise.

I found an excuse for leaving, And so I left. I wanted to fall in love with places Instead of people, Wanted to see the world and its wonders, Stop wasting my time on train stations, Fixed plans and well known destinations; Avoid the inevitable hurt of being left behind. But I guess I was just too afraid, too young, Afraid of being in love with you, And having you love me back Just as much - If not even more. But "people always leave," someone would say, So I left you before you left me, But even oceans apart I was still yearning for you, For what we had and what we could've been, And I saw the world and tried to fall in love with places, A few people even tried to find themselves in my heart - All in vain.

I made different plans And found myself at new well know destinations, I wasted my time on a different train station, And I waited for a train to return me home, Waited for a train to return me home to you - And I am sorry, For thinking I had to leave to write more, And live more and love more, 'Cause all I did in my time while I was away, Was live hoping to see you again, Love you more if not the same, And write books about how I wish I would have stayed –

You asked me "how was the world?" "It was lonely to tell you the truth."

It's you when I'm exhausted, Tired of sleeping the day away, Tired of waking up wishing not to.

It's you when it's 4 am, And I'm writing my thoughts away, Chain smoking and still drinking coffee.

It's you when I'm a mess, And every little thing sets me off, Leaves me crying, screaming.

It's you when I'm looking at myself in the mirror, And I see the old me staring back Trying to claw their way out and stay.

It's you when I try to keep that person at bay, When I repeat "that's not me anymore," Over and over and once more again.

It's you when accidents happen, And I relapse and savor that pain, On my wrists, on my arms, on my thighs.

It's you when I just can't do it anymore, And I shut myself off and pray, For some time alone.

It's you when I am alone, At the other side of the closed door, Listening to my even breaths.

And it's you when I'm ready to do it all once again, Wake up and go through the empty days, And stare at empty skies, and wish I was empty as well.

It's you when I wish to god I was empty, A clean slate, an empty book, With absolutely nothing on my mind.

It's you when I lose myself, It's you who finds me - And brings me back.

The lecture starts in fifteen, A cigarette's dangling between my teeth; You keep saying things I can't hear, And all I want is some coffee.

But the coffee shop's closed, Might as well go outside; Smoke a bit, talk music, Till we run out of time.

Get to the classroom, Ignore the shit out of ya; Take notes, participate for a while, Before the final bell chimes.

Go home, forget about your face, Think about the things you might've said; Sleep, study, think, sleep, Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.

I'd give all of my choices to change the unchangeable, Stop the never-ending flow of your tears, Take the pain away, make the hurt disappear, Rewind the time, give you a chance to say goodbye. But right now, at this very moment, love, I'd give my life, Everything I've got for you to stop; I need you to stop, I need you to stop playing that song, love, I need you to stop, Before you tear yourself further apart.

Lights go down one by one, Can't stand to see the setting Sun. The darkness brings - they overcome; Hold on till the rising Sun.

Lights go down one by one, Burned himself to protect the Sun. Although blind with hands going numb, He keeps safe the heart of the Sun.

Lights went down one by one, Lit a candle to support the Sun. The ones who fought - they have won The battle for the arms into which he runs.

It was the day when all lectures were cancelled, Students roamed the streets and the teachers finally learned how to move their feet. It was the day when all the children hugged their parents, Nestled in their shoulders, they cried their little hearts out. It was the day when the music stopped playing, So that the clock could sing its last tick-tock. It was the day when red finally overpowered green, And the youth mourned a broken dream. It was the day when Hook pierced his heart, And remains as the day When Peter Pan grew up.

Now I'll play a thief, Teach me how to lie. You'll be the moon, Let me show you how to shine. Light a match and set us on fire, Let the scattered ashes Serve as a reminder.

We followed our desire, We burned each other, We touched each other, We loved each other, On the sly.

'Cause I, a thief, live a lie, You already knew how to shine, And we could only ever love each other, On the sly.

Three years is you and I Never meant to be, Praying to the empty skies - On three - We let go on three. Finally leave behind. Leave it all behind on three; Might take a while to finish counting, Took us a while to start - On three. We let go on three. Three years is you and I Never meant to be, Forgetting a lifetime - On three - We let go on three. Please count with me.

I've tried, I've tried Honest to God I’ve tried - Everything to make you stay - You had made up your mind, Now it's too late. I'm trying to understand How could you believe the lies - It would be easier and better - After all this time... How could you leave me behind? I've tried, honest to God I've tried.. Hey Angel, Why did you commit suicide?

There was a you once when there was no me Hopefully you asked: "Run away with me?" So perfectly ethereal, Wore your heart on your sleeve, You were innocent; free.

There was a lie of a tomorrow when there was no today, Screamed and begged: "Take me away!" Closed off, damaged and betrayed, Fragile before me you laid Like a bird meant for the skies; caged.

There was a you once I might have grown to love, Before that soft whisper: "We are not enough.." Just for a little more time - wanted you to stay - Foolishly I said I'm taking you away, Wasn't even slightly surprised When I found out it was too late.

I used to keep a pen and a paper above my head while I slept So that I could wake up at 3am and write down my heartbreak. I don't do that anymore, Heartbreak's still there, I just don't want him in my poems anymore. He already took enough from me anyway, He doesn't deserve, Never did deserve anything from me. While I gave everything, Just because he asked. I'm done. Now, I'm done for a while now really, Now I'm just writing it down, Waiting to see how you play out. I'm hoping for you not to be like that. I hope for you not to ask. Don't ask. When I say I'll give you everything, Don't ask. 'Cause I will.

I'm not like those heroes in the stories I read, If I were, I would call myself healing. I wouldn't feel like a burden, Every time I call in tears. I wouldn't try so hard to hide myself, Scared of what others might think. I wouldn't be so terrified Of every single minute of the day. I wouldn't write these poems, And I wouldn't have these scars. I wouldn't feel like this - Damaged, broken - Whatever you want to call it. And I would have you sitting beside me Telling me how brave I am, And you would say I'm not broken, Never broken - just healing, Repeat it, Till I finally believe it. - But you're not beside me And I sincerely hope I’ll pull through just fine on my own Even though I'm not like those heroes in the stories I read And I don't need strawberry milk to make me feel clean

I don't want a piece of paper from the city hall to -allow- me to kiss my better half I don't want that piece of paper to hang on my wall a certificate, -a license- only to wipe my ass with I don't want the absence of a piece of paper in my wallet, in my pocket to make my child starve and I don't want to let a piece of paper dictate my life, through a contract with my name signed on the line below - I don't want to sign away my soul –

I fell in love with a boy on the bus With a beautiful smile, And a seat between us. A book in his hands With the covers I'll always recognize. I often wonder about him, Was he angry when he had read the last page Or full on crying at the end, Lost in the same moments I now dread? He was at the beginning then, Maybe only one third in, I wonder how he felt when he realized It won't get happy? Reading the same words I once have read, I wonder if he fell as hard, Has he fallen in love as well? But that hour passed a minute too fast, When I got off the bus and headed home I realized the moment was lost, Opportunity gone. It's all quiet on the western front, It was all quiet ‘and we never even got to talk.