roguegoneawol

Diamond - just a rock Music - just a chord Whimper - just a sound Scar - just a mark Violet - just a flower Courage - just stupidity Equality - just a term Love - just a feeling Life - just before death. Just.

Take the credit, take the blame - You will fall, it’s all the same. Turn your head, look away, Close your eyes - ignore the pain.

What is wrong, what is right? Simple retreat? Giving up the fight? Be it a whisper, be it a scream, They’ll take you down, along with your dream.

Have faith in their rule, bow to the cruel regime, Don’t you dare slip, flow within their stream, Trust in the lies they say are real.. But when the time is right - Shoot to kill.

God is wise, but devil is wiser; While God was busy enslaving life, Devil found beauty in educating it. Forgiveness is sweet, revenge is sweeter; While forgiveness sets your soul free, Revenge puts your mind at ease. Hate is easy, love takes guts; While hate is a can, Love is a must. Life is now death is soon; While life is a limitation undefined, Death is always two steps behind.

"Stay and fight, Stay and fight! With all that you have got, With all your might! Don’t give up, Do not abide, Stand up and pick a side! It's time to shout, now raise your voice, They say there's always- But we’ve got no choice."

It’s a command not a suggestion, It’s all fixed, there’s no election. A boy died - they covered it up; You’re at the edge, might as well jump.

There’s a war going on - One by one all will be gone. Blood is spilled in an unfair fight And I wonder, and I wonder - How can they sleep at night?

Poverty’s at its finest - People take their well deserved rest. Mayhem, Armageddon plans to stay And I wonder, and I wonder - How can they look away?

Innocent lives are lost At a selfish mans cost, Beneath the soil their scattered bones remain - And I wonder, and I wonder Who will make them pay?

What would Morrison do If he were walking by my side, Would he give me some heroin? To ease my tormented mind?

What would a Winchester say To make it all go away, Would he put a gun in my hand And tell me to take a stand?

What would my father do To make me pull through, Would he give me some advice - "Life's a game, you roll the dice"

What would God do If he were to hear my plea, Would he give me an answer That I wholeheartedly seek? - Everything seems lost When most of your heroes are gone. What would he say, what would he do - Sorry to disappoint, but God is dead too.

Part 1

When a good man sells his soul For the lies he thought he’d known - For the sake of bravery He threw himself into the fire, While being fully aware That the consequences will be dire. I curse the courage That lies in every man ‘Cause it borders with stupidity - Don’t you understand!? No running away, No retreat to the murine hole, Ideals are foul When a noble man sells his soul.

Part 2

Even when it's a cold, dark, silent night, I can see what’s wrong and what’s right. My mistakes, they are only mine, I fight for myself, I refuse to step in line.

Patterns - no I won’t fit in, I still remember where I have been. I refuse to believe in what I can’t see, I don’t pray to God, would he even hear me?

People around us are slowly dying, In the air bullets are still flying. The world became corrupted and evil, Everything that is bad, now it’s legal.

And as another year, to this world fell, World that we created is worse than hell. All we have are wars, poverty and lies, With each year that passes, it slowly dies.

Part 3

Make a grave for the ideals that never pulled through, Bury them beneath the willow next to justice and truth. Say your prayers, dry your eyes, No one hears your silent cries. You slipped and fell, now it’s time to pick yourself up, Your knees are weak but you need to follow the light. Dig deep and find a little hope, tightly hug your dreams, Every God knows it is as bad as it seems. Now stand up, don't turn around, don't wave goodbye, Spread your wings and leap for the sky. Fight the war you are bound to lose Fight to protect, fight for what is behind you.

Fight the war for the sake of ending the war itself. - Everyone’s got their place to go away, The way to cope with everything that is not ok. I suppose I’m doing it too, in my own way; Put your hands off your ears, I've got nothing else to say.

Open the gates of heaven - I beg of you to hear of my plan. If you look in to my soul you’ll know I’m sincere, So take me in, there is something you need to hear - Take me in, the mankind needs you to see.

Like a man has done for the devil, I offer my soul to you. Like a man does for the devil, I’ll do your dirty work.

Put me in command, I’ll be your iron hand; I’ll spread justice and truth Across the wicked man’s earth.

I do not ask for an army For it is walking amongst wolves, I alone represent an army - I don’t need no blinded fools.

I will not call myself your son, I won’t introduce myself as a knight. I’ll say that I am an idea, a reason, A simple thought - I am a never ending fight.

I’ll destroy everything that is evil, Make everyone pay for their sins; When I’m done The devil himself for forgiveness will plea.

But then again, I am only a man Knocking at the gates of heaven, Maybe I should try hell - Maybe the devil will understand.

For I am not the only one Asking for your help, More will come after me, And there were even more that before me fell.

You see, I am trying but I can’t understand, Why won’t you help us, why won’t you lend us a hand? Why are we doomed from the beginning? Cursed to seek for an impossible meaning?

If you won’t let me be your second hand Then I can’t find another way for you to mend all that has been done by lesser men, So I beg of you: burn the earth to the ground And think twice before you start all over again.

He will introduce himself. Her knees will slightly bend. They will talk many times, Before they finally realize… He’ll ask for her hand, And she’ll say yes like on command. He’ll sing and she’ll dance, They'll kiss whenever they get a chance. He’ll get ill before they make their vows. She’ll nurse the love faith carefully plows. He’ll die and she’ll cry, But before they've said goodbye… He’ll take her hand and say What already stands, And she’ll finally Be able to understand. After the funeral She’ll be the only one there left, With her hand on her belly Trying not to break… From the distance I’ll hear Her cursing the love that couldn’t stay, And I’ll slowly turn around And simply walk away. When I get home, I’ll hug the love that is still here, And I’ll whisper a sweet “I missed you” in his ear. He’ll sense my deep and silent cries, And he’ll know that I pray He never dies…

I get an awkward handshake - A hug that was a minute too late. I get cheap beer for my heart to mend When all I needed, When all I needed was a friend.

I get a sympathetic smile - On the ground concentrated eye. I get no one to wipe the tears that I’ve shed, When all I needed, When all I needed was a friend.

I get strangers calling themselves another name - Everything's changing while I stay the same. I get a lie that says "I understand", When all I needed, When all I needed was a friend.

If I could go back in time I’d make sure you stayed mine. If I could do everything all over again, I'd burn the paper and throw away the pen. If I could make my words go away, I'd change them all to a simple "stay." If I could than I would - But that doesn't mean that I should. I often fail to realize, My choices were exactly what I wanted at the time.

But sometimes, I wish I could go back. Do a thing or two differently. Even though the past is black - It's still and forever clinging to me.

I can't let go.

A simple burn that has healed ages ago - Accidentally been put on my arm, A simple burn that has healed ages ago - Gets mistaken for self harm.

A simple scar resting on my wrist - Hidden behind a bracelet. A simple scar resting on my wrist - Gets mistaken for an accident.

I knew you were dead From the moment I’ve picked up the phone. They’d sent me a flag But I couldn't even open the door.

An official letter came saying You won't be coming home, They're sorry for my loss But the fault is their own.

I spit on every nations fall, Every invested dime - I curse the wars, I curse it all, Taking you away, no one calls a crime.

I find myself in a character that took his own life; The last words he ever spoke Mirror the thoughts of my own. And a friend told me once That I scare him when I talk at night, About my “what ifs”, About my fight to survive this pathetic form of life; Sometimes I scare myself too - But those feelings now, Just come naturally.

I find myself in a character that once saved a life he was supposed to take. Oh, the way he threw everything away, For a simple thing we call love. It makes me wonder, If I could ever do the things he's done If I had that kind of a loved one.

And I've read somewhere once How the kindest of people are the saddest of them all, But I am not kind, And I am not sweet, I am not what you'd call good.- My life is depression in itself, I just fool my way through.

So I find myself in a character who threw his life away For the greater good, And I aspire to become him. And I aspire to have what he has. And I aspire to give everything away Because I don't want anyone to suffer like I still do. Because I want to do something good,

For a change.

There are some things you just can't take back, If you don't know exactly what you want - You'll just end up with jack.

I'm not saying suck it up, Don't put up a fight, But try to avoid sleeping on the couch most nights.

A wrong choice may alter your whole life, Instead of a straight blow - Try counting to five or more.

A single word can insure someone's leave, And a word is one of many things You just can't retrieve.

Sometimes silence can do more damage than a scream - Measure the situation, Nothing is ever as it seems.

And how I wish I'd follow my own advice, I never really think twice.. I do pick my battles, But my biggest flaw Is that I always pick them all.

I thought I saw freedom in your eyes, I thought I saw future in your eyes, I thought I saw my reflection, I thought I saw potential, I thought I saw.. Turns out, I was blind all along.

Give me a reason why Would a happy person waste time On writing about a "goodbye" Instead of a "Hi?"

Let me help you understand – It happens when one's heart doesn't mend, When they fail to stand - They find such beautiful words to describe the end.

I'm not saying happy poems are a lie, They are just not the ones that catch my eye. The ones that do are the ones I've survived – The ones that prove that I'm still alive.

I'm ready to take your bets - Swear to me on stars and comets. I dare you to prove me wrong, But I'm just being honest, I believe that happy ones are rarely poets.

Do not be a coward Do not praise them There's nothing tragically beautiful about it.

The locked door; The blood on the floor; Razor in one hand; A note in the other.

Or maybe a stomach full of pills, Or a noose around the neck, Or scattered bones on a train track, Or a needle and a spoon, Or an empty bottle of alcoholic doom.

And the smell, rotten flesh, stale pool of blood - It's been hours days even. The pain that's been taken away - Do you think they'll take your body away Just as carefully?

You won't hear it, But they'll surely say, That infamous "I wish I'd known her" you hate so much, But they won't write songs about you, Or make movies, or even think of you, 'Cause "You" is gone. The only thing that's left is A body full of maggots deep in the ground. The only thing that's left Is pain you've unknowingly inflicted to others. The only thing that's left Is nothingness you'll never even get to feel.

Some will hate you, some will miss you, Some will be glad you're gone - Do you really want to give them that satisfaction? They say pride is the biggest sin of them all - And we all sin - So where's your damn pride?

I am not cruel although it seems like it, And if I say I've been where you are now – Won't mean shit. But I am not your friend, I don't owe you any kindness or sympathy. I give myself the right to judge But "I the judge" doesn't matter now. What matters are my words and what you make of them, And I've said it once, and I guess I'll repeat it forever. Do not praise them There's nothing tragically beautiful about it.

You talked about love like it was ancient philosophy, And you always talked about the world how it should have been. I believed your every word with all my heart, I defended your lies while truly believing they were true, But Jimmy my dear, just how wrong were you...

And you talked about music, and freedom and death - You loved her - the proof is your last breath. And I've searched for what you had, And I wanted, wished, aspired to live your song, But Jimmy my dear, you were wrong... -

Death is eternal, An insignificant song is played at the funeral. Love is just a silly lie, And the world won't let out a single cry. Freedom bailed a long time ago, So I'm too saying "so long," 'Cause Jim my dear, you were so wrong in every song you've sung...

About everything.

"Why are you on the floor? Do you want me to go? Should I just close the door?"

I light up a cigarette And I take a drag, As I exhale I watch the smoke dance, I inhale it again - Hold it along with my breath - "Have you ever felt such wrath?"

Don't laugh, it's not a joke, I do wish I would just choke. "Everything that was once beautiful, Everything that once held meaning - How I wish I could smell the gunpowder - Burn it all; yes I think I'd enjoy the feeling.

Have you ever felt such wrath? Have you ever hated so much? Have you ever despised? Anything and everything, Showed no resistance As you slowly got repelled By your own existence?

I used to go out And wish I could merge with the sky. Wish I could melt And become one with the desert. Wish I could take a simple walk, Grow wings and join a flock.

But now, I'm sitting with my back against the wall, Afraid that if I stand up, Take a step further I might fall. I just want to crawl in to myself so deep, So deep I finally become nothing.

Have you ever felt such wrath? Have you ever been angry with God, faith? Everything you did and didn't create? Been disgusted by yourself, Felt guilty about everything else.

Have you ever been so wrathful? Not disappointed, proud or hurt - But full of anger that's ripping your soul in two; Full of anger 'cause your whole life laughs ‘You're bound to lose.’

Well I have, So close the door. It's not that I want to be alone, I just want to not be at all."

One more step may lead me To the same fate I wanted so badly to escape, Same fate that found you, And I'd rather not take another step ever again Than live my life the way you do. Your road is the one you paved, But do not pave it for me and For fuck’s sake do not make me walk it with you, 'Cause I don’t want to find myself Walking beside you. I do not want to be like you And all those people who live their lives Like there's always tomorrow. ‘Cause someday tomorrow won't come, And I can't accept the fact that There will be things left unsaid, And strangers who stayed strangers, Some things that should’ve been - not done, And some love unloved.

I won't be like you. Let me step away.

What do writers do, when a great tragedy seeks residence in their life? They turn it all in to words and while trying to make a sense out of it they simply write and write and write...

They pour their hearts out, till the burden appears lighter on their shoulders. They wipe the tears from an already soaked paper, and they run their pen across it like nothing else matters; They write till the words run out.

They find comfort in simple lines that form words they'd never say out loud. They try to make the pain go away by writing it all down; They write till the words run out.

They try to find a reason life refused or failed to give, They take their minds off of the old scars - that are not quite healed yet - while they mend the newly open wounds instead; They write till the words run out.

They write till the words run out, and there is nothing left to write about. And what happens when they do? When the words actually run out? I guess I, as a writer will tell you when my own do... and ain't that such a sweet little paradox?

You have asked me why, Why do I love you? And I have answered: “Because even the never-tamed ocean blue Isn't as free as you.”

I was never the one To write about love - I was never the kind.

I was never the one To wish for the impossible - Now it's you that stalks my mind.

I was never the one To wait for anyone, but for you - Forever doesn't seem a long time.

My hand fits so perfectly in yours.. And you're gentle; I'm not used to that. And I adore the feeling I get when our fingers Are intertwined... My hand fits so perfectly in yours.. And as I hold it, I want to hold it forever, But I know that I won't. So even when we're together I already miss you, 'Cause I know that we won't last.. I start missing you in advance...

New ink dances its way across the thin skin where it will forever stay.

Someone once said: "We're all addicted to something that takes the pain away."

"Of course we are" I say - my voice shakes but it doesn't break.

As I put out my cigarette in a tray I can feel the pain slowly fading away - My shaky hands feel better today.

I could clearly hear Red once; Sounded like your fingertips brushing over a guitar string. If I ever get a chance to hear Black, I know it would be silent, like a Friday would be, nothing ever quite as quiet, without your singing.

I feel like I’m drowning, And I’m exhausted by my own panicking. I feel like I’m suffocating, And I’m not really sure if I’ll make it. Silence wouldn't seem as loud God, If only I could mute my own choking sounds.. I need to find your face in the crowd So that I can finally come up for air.

I'm protected in an unknown embrace But I keep wishing to see your face. I'm warm and sheltered from the rain But all I want to see is you again.

It's all wrong, It's all wrong, It's all wrong - This is not how it was supposed to be.

So I wished for the rain To wash the memory of you away, But the rain can't wash What the rain can't reach.

I ran away from home 'cause Home used to be a home a long time ago.. Home is being burnt down while you and I are just standing around, not moving, just watching, - not even breathing – simply waiting for it to stop. Home used to be a home a long time ago, 'cause the old pipes don't offer comfort anymore and the door that creaks is starting to get on my nerves. Home used to be a home a long time ago, all the paint in the world can't cover the bloody walls in the old living room. Home used to be a home a long time ago, Now it's falling apart in front of our very eyes, and you can't save the walls that are slowly tumbling down. I ran away from home 'cause home stopped being a home a long time ago, you see, home has a heartbeat and it slowly fades away.. And I will not fight for something that cannot be saved.

Loving you feels like a child's silent whimper when it finds out that a grazed knee is not the worst that can happen

Loving you feels like a second degree burn that will hurt only for a little while before it heals (not quite properly) and leaves a permanent scar

Loving you feels like assembling a blank puzzle

-

Loving you feels like constantly searching for the missing piece

Give me one word, One word and I'll dedicate a poem to you. Give me two, and I'll send you a copy of my next book. Give me three, and I'll just repeat them back. Would that be enough?

Sometimes I can hear voices, Conversations long forgotten, Words never spoken, Screaming at me to write them all down. But when I do, they all seem pointless, In the end they mean nothing. So I wonder why do I even bother.

See that shooting star? That's a dream right there.. And I wonder which one died first.

"Lost and found" section is full of broken hearts. Nobody wants a broken heart. Not even their owners.

Go ahead, read me, Try to figure me out. I love seeing people give up.

Do not read what you once wrote, you'll just realize that you suck even more than before.

I used to love the dark... Now I'd set the world on fire 'cause the moonlight isn't enough.

I'm doing that thing again... I'm staring at a poem I just wrote.. Slowly realizing that The paper is full of empty words.. Again.

There once was a neat piece of paper, a neat piece of paper you left behind without a word on it. There's no permanent reminder

- Blank -

You left without looking back. The paper yearned for words, Three words specifically, But you never knew. You never bothered to learn. I was once a piece of paper, a neat piece of paper you left behind, never belonged between covers

- Blank –

Unwritten

We dance in perfect harmony, I lead and you give yourself away so gracefully. While I'm looking down, careful with my steps, Your lips curve into a smile, With your eyes locked on mine. My grip on you is tighter, My breath’s uneven, But you're so free - You spin me around, and 'round, and 'round.. Till we once again fall in to sync. By now we're properly dancing, and I am so overwhelmed with the fact that I don't even know the song, But your smile tells me the same - So we just go along. No step is the wrong one, No turn is a mistake. It's alright, As long as your hand is in mine. It's alright, Now it's my turn to smile. “It’s alright” I say, as I let you lead the rest of the way.

Same It's just not the same anymore the tattoos hold another meaning some turned out to be mistakes it's not like you lied it was all true once upon a time it's not like it was all a lie it was real it was all too real it was the truth it was perfect while it lasted it just didn't last it's not like you hate now it's just that you don't love and I don't know what would be better what would hurt less 'cause it hurts, it hurts like a motherfucker knowing that it was all so perfect brilliant, amazing, magnificent, real and true till one morning you woke up and you realized that that was the old you younger you, foolish you someone who believed, threw themselves in to the unknown believed in forever believed in but that was yesterday literally yesterday now you're awake and you don't know how the fuck did you survive it all how the fuck didn't you see it all sooner how the fuck did you feel 'cause you don't remember and it would be so nice to remember to have something to compare to to hold on to but you can't remember for the life of you you're awake now and it feels like you were asleep for the past ten years like it was all a dream a nice dream but a dream nonetheless you don't want to dream anymore you want something else a new life without the one you swore to keep swore to protect swore to love and I wonder how the fuck does that happen? you build your life around them you live their life, you share yours you made memories, you cried together you loved you laughed and you got drunk and you watched silly tv shows and you played games and you fought and you still loved and you celebrated you got your hearts broken you picked up the pieces you were there you were a home to each other you loved you loved loved you don't hate now, no it's not like you hate now it's just that you don't love and oh my god how easier it would be for me to know that you hate me to know that it was all a lie to know that I was just fooled for so long to know that it was all just not real a lie but it wasn't it was real while it lasted how I wish you hated me so that I could return that feeling but no, you do not hate you just don't love anymore and I am sorry I am so sorry you fell out of love I don't know how that feels and I pray to God I don't have to find out while I'm still with the person I swore to love forever I am so, so sorry you fell out of love

Stay, Tell me about the arrow, and the heart, And the other halves. Tell me about the sparrow, Where is its nest? Tell me what they mean, These tattoos you got... When you were eighteen? Tell me everything. And when the time finally comes for us to greet the new dawned day.. I’ll ask again, I’ll ask you to stay.

I was there when they repainted the walls holding my essays - white over the black words I wrote when I was fifteen. I was there when they turned off the lights - welcoming the dark that never belonged there. I was there when the lock finally clicked shut forever - the last sound that would ever echo from the inside. I was there when they closed the spare waiting room - my childhood left inside, never to break free again. I was there and I still am, waiting for the person with the key.

I know of a story, a sad, sad story and sometimes I find myself hearing him say: "Sweet sweet memory of blue - your beloved greens have turned dull and gray."

It was on a quiet Christmas Eve when he wrapped a present and put it beneath their Christmas tree, sat on the couch and waited patiently.

William was his name, his baby blue eyes would turn turquoise when they would catch certain greens.

William was his name and his sweet, sweet baby blues would never open again.

There were two cups of steaming tea, one sugar cube with just a splash of milk. A few cookies on the side, just the way he likes it. There were also rose petals, candle light shining bright - There was a ring and a bottle of wine; Minutes that turned in to hours passing by.

He waited for William to come home, When midnight passed and he still sat alone, His sleepy eyes finally closed - Tea sat forgotten and cold.

There was a storm that raged on, and the breaks that couldn't hold. there was a river, once a peaceful stream. Roads icy, slippery.

He didn't find out, not until the Christmas morning came that his best friends' eyes will never open again. Every year since, there are roses in December, laying next to a stone, next to a sad, sad boy warming his hands with a cup of tea.

Through tears and shallow breaths he would whisper to the stone more than to himself: "Sweet sweet memory of blue, how could you leave your beloved greens to turn dull and gray?"